lie

Sometimes in the thick of it all I find myself lying to myself in order to be kinder but then I don't know the truth and I have no idea if what I feel is real and if I actually ever lied to myself at all. All I ever wanted from the world was love. Am I too selfish too see I have already gotten what I wanted.

Taken for granted

Noticing what I do for others gets me thinking. Do I ask too much, too little? Do I only expect from others what I expect from myself? Do I expect too much from everyone else? The people around me take me for granted. All I have is to show them how I can be different and generous in ways they didn't see before. I can't change people I can only change myself. Sometimes I doubt weather I am taking for granted others or not because of the way they treat me. I hope not. I will keep trying to be a person I look up to in hopes that I can be happy and lead a fulfilling life. I hope I don't sound too much like a sunday school teacher.........

Joy

I often want to be silent, be alone and unafraid. I often want to shout out in wonder of what life is. I cannot know why I try to be who I am but all i know is that all i have is joy.
Have you ever felt like you are so alone that no one can get to you, no body cares? Have you ever felt that you longed for someone to tell you how it works, to show you what love and freindship is? I felt that every day for as long as I have lived but when I found myself with a freind I did not want it. After all those yearrs of longing and resentment of so many faces who turned away I found myself stuck in an inbetween of wanting to hold on and wanting to let go. Then i relized every one is just as messed up as I am and the world seemed a puzzeled place.
If i help you will you help me? After all we are all different and we all have different problems. If I know the answers to your problems and share will someone have the answers for me. All greif and anger are nothing to any one all that matters in the end is joy and helping eachother reach that place.