You

You've got me

So that I know that I've

Fallen out of reach

You've stalled me

From seeing life

Or you've helped me

Once or twice

To get there faster

But if I don't see your face

Again

I hope you end up fine

And if maybe we have a life

intertwined

I hope you find a way to make it nice

These dreams and words and feelings

Crawling against my skin

Words like little daisies

And birds with Silky feather wings

They fell into this massive wave

Of all I have yet to see

The stars that watch my decent into

The depths of my mind

They never really cried as hard

For me

As all the other guys

And you have a lot to learn

But I know we'd be just fine

If you would only listen now

To my patience

And my own beating heart

That you've created out of stone

So that I have the cold hearted

Singing of a dove unflown

But that's another story

From my own point of view

I hope you find your message soon

Your life's resume

That all you want

Is not evil

And all that is evil

You would never want

Good

Good

Good things

Good words

Good thoughts

Good food

Good walk

Good sleep

Good love

Good god

When did I get so

Strange

And I don't think

I've ever been anything

Else

Awakening

Waking up to new noise

A new way of stepping out into

Too many jitters

My mind, it titters

Seeing all the apostrophes

Given to me

Like some kind of

Neurotic comma

Stuck on the lower points of life

These breaks in the sentence

Give meaning to breathing

As if to say stop your speaking

Stop your repeating

Your brain on chemicals

Your stomach wrapped up in acid

Pain

And your heart skipping beats

Like a turbulent plane

Good morning new sun

New era of thinking

I am the pariah

I am the only one singing

The song of rain

The song of loving you

Wishful thinking

I called upon its home

Hoping it was speaking

To the places I will go

When the battle is won

The break in the storm

Of all these emotions

Stuck in my head

Wanting me lost

Wanting me dead

Good morning wishful thinking

Your not just for fools

I followed your heels

Like a caffeinated puppy

Because it's too hard to bear

Living alone

When I see the light leave your eyes

Too many times

All of these imaginings

Or used to be's

Or even these false future falsities

I've seen you die

In my mind

A thousand times

Good morning new smile

I wanted all my thoughts

To be joyous things

That injected warmth

Into the hearts

Of all these bastards

Lining the streets

Just to be put in another line

Leading to nothing

And you could think you have meaning

You can think you have vitality

Pouring out of your skin

And into the sky

And out to the sun

That shines on because of it

And you could think you have no meaning at all

Your breath pouring out

Into winter cold air

Curling around your throat

Suffocating you there

In the place that you are

All in your head

Your brain in a coma

Your soul screaming

Just to be fed

Screaming to be let free

To touch another soul

And feel alive

Poetic

I am not in a poetic mood

In fact my need annoys me

I don't feel anything

And yet I am the queen of trying

I am not in a poetic mood

But my heart and mind scream write it down

I don't feel anything

And my body feels the suppression

My artful expression

Is killing me slowly

As I am chained to beliefs

I have made frozen

I am not in a poetic mood

Because I believe in it no longer

I don't feel anything

And yet my eyes, they hunger

I am not in a poetic mood

And my logic drowns my thunder

I don't feel anything

And my spirit feels like death

Can you smell the drug of it on my breath?

Can you hear me swallow it?

Can you see my tongue reach out and lick the remainders from my chin?

Can you feel my feet as they stomp this dirty heap?

I am not in a poetic mood

I am the definition of cynically inclined

I don't feel anything

My footsteps make a line

I am not in a poetic mood

My subconscious is crawling under dead skin

I don't feel anything

Can you blame any human for this?

Fuck you

What is the equation of a situation gone wrong?

Can you tell me

Or are you bluffing

The extent of what you own

In your own capabilities

I'm Angry again

I'm Angry always

Deep inside my mind

And my body is a tree

With the roots gone twisted

And my body is a youth

Untested

Am I weak?

They say it shows strength

To show weakness

But I can see in your eyes how you

Push me down

How you

Run your mouth

And yes I've done the same

But can you honestly say to yourself

It's my fault?

Well fuck you

Fuck you little girl

I've seen all the things you are

All the things your dreaming to become

And you will reach that

And when you tear yourself down

I won't be there

To see you crumble in the dust

Nothing to believe

Brain control

You will be subject to your own

I can't speak in fear

That you won't understand

I push all of you away

Like a startled doe in winter snow

Running from this place to teach the fawn

How to escape

From everything that has yet to be

And all the things biting at their hooves

Now and forever in the past

And you can't forget

Lest you die

And you can't be free

Lest you forget

Because I've felt your words before

Sting me so bad

And yet I can't say that I

Don't feel so dead inside

When I slap myself

With these words and emotions

I've made on my own

And I reek of the stench

Of things left untold

Of things kept inside

Too afraid to even lie

I don't like these words

I don't like the way my smile fades

If I feel happy things

And think happy things

Will I be happy

Or just naive?

Little Bird

Do you hear me small animal

So have my hand in the greatness of happiness

Do you have the heart for it

To squeal and revel in all you have done

Oh little animal

Oh little baby bird

I had so much to give to you

I had so much love swelling my heart

I had not forgotten any songs you've wrote

And yet I've forgot my own

Oh little bird

Sit on your thrown

Sit atop the brambles and thorns and dead leaves

Tell me how you stopped time from fleeting

Kept your heart beating

Without a care of the world

Tell me how you shoved the reality of it all into two pieces

Tell me little animal

You baby, baby, little bird

How you opened your eyes and found it all

To keep or not to keep

To hold and let go

Oh sleep

Young sleep

Old sleep

You had it all

And I will weep

Because little, baby, bird

You died then

You died right here

Tell me did it hurt to let it fly away from you

Did it hurt to realize your life was beautiful to me

To find you had meaning after all

You ceased the rain

Because it falls

Because it hangs

Because it stops sometimes

Oh little animal

I will love you

I will love you in the hope that

All I have has meaning too

Oh little bird

I will always love you

Woman

You have beat me

Tried to own me

Degraded me

But I am woman

And I am free

You have praised me

Worshiped me

Loved me

Because I am woman

And I am free

I may not own the world

I may not run the show

I may not be recognized

But you are woman too

You have shared the beat

Of a woman's heart

You have shared the love

Of an unspoken vow

She has given you wings to fly

And you have either cleaned them

Or dirtied them

And the woman gave you voice

And you have either sang

Or become swollen

Weather you recognize it

Or deny it

I am woman

And I am free

Weather you own it

Or despise it

You are woman

And you are free

One day

One day

I'll tell you

How I want

To slap her

To shake her

And it scares

Me how I

Can feel so

Much for you

That I would

Feel this anger

For your mother

Who keeps us

Apart

One day

I'll tell you

I love you

Without this stupid

Fear that I

Am scared of

What I already

Know as real

What I only

Know as real

I want to

Hold on and

Never let you

go

Serial

Can you

can you

can you hear me?

Wrap me up

And I'm still screaming

Did you hear the one

About your scars?

Mr.

Mr.

Mr. steamy

Got me caught

And now I'm wishing

All I had

I had not owed you

Did you tell me

How you loved my scars?

Do you

Do you

Do you watch me?

As you throw me into the sea

Limb by limb

But do you see my eyes?

How they scream

Oh I loved you

But now you'll rot

In a hell

Of my screaming