Into sound

I was this

jumping in

steady on in

Grace is change

steady on the way

Wishes are not quite

certainty is a hard thing

its like the feeling of breeze

gone more often then you want

and just enough to make you think

i saw the road on the side of the grass

i had enough time to see nothing was green

i looked out past the feeling of a loveless thing

stepping up and watching them step down is fine

hollows in the oak tree watch the passing of a stream

fractures are not a steady line of remorse, they are tinged

i saw your face and i saw your tears and i saw your reasoning

gone was the flow that carried us there where the feeling strikes

The lightning tells us that our place in this was never too important

i don't care enough to go back to where i started, i just keep walking

though I'm a startling thing and my ribs are low and cracked inside

those things which catch our breath are running out of air for life

i saw the mountains and thought 'i could watch their lives go'

we could hold on to the feeling of the snow in the breeze

i saw the flowers and i knew about the stain that i left

you were not open but you were closed and all right

don't flow too far from the places that you seek

don't feel caged and unloved from me, please

don't flee too far from the spaces i think in

i watched the dirt streaks on our faces

i caught up with the night sky sound

my hand is closed in relief not rage

i left the light to go out into this

i left stars to swim in place

grafting into the ground

i saw my own breath

i laughed at all of it

i laughed out loud

and you woke

into sound

Sometimes

Sometimes I hate myself

Sometimes I can't feel

Sometimes I feel wrong

Sometimes I am steel

Sometimes I just want to cry

But all that comes is strangled and dry

I wanted to fly a kite so I bought a kite

I wanted to sail a boat so I bought a boat

I wanted to rule the world so I bought the world

But all these things didn't belong to me

They belonged to wind, earth and sea

I didn't know what to do

So I let them sit and yellow and fray

I wanted everything to be okay

But all I did was sit and stay

To Salty Spray

I couldn't tell if I was laughing or crying

But everything that was done to me

Was replayed over and over again

Your face is in my mind

And I don't even mind enough to care

Except to crave what I was after

I followed you into the ocean

I followed you to salty spray

I followed all your weaknesses

Only to find I was my own prey

You are an open sky

That touches flames at night time

I wanted your love too

But I was always frightened

By the complexities

And the far reach

I couldn't tell if I was dead or alive

I couldn't feel anything but feeling itself

To its highest degree

To its highest self

And To become so emotionless

To see and to breathe

And to not feel at all

That would make me bleed

And bleed and bleed and bleed

For a wound not inflicted

Never achieved

I would bleed and bleed

I love the way I smile

I love the way I dance

I love the way that I

Don't know how to be anything

But this

I loved my broken mind

I loved my dirty floor

And now I've cleaned them up

And I know exactly what for

I feel the open earth

As it was brought to me

I loved and loved you

But you would never see

I followed you to death

I followed you to salty spray

And with your last breath

You said

You said

You said

You said

Home

This is not where I belong

This was never where I was

This was never my last wish

To be withered into dust

I wanted to be free

And now you've let me die

I wanted to be still

I wanted to be high

And I always knew you

I always knew your face

And I always knew your message

And that message took your place

And you died

I fell

I decayed

I wanted so much

To let you know

Just to say

That I loved you

I always had

I would follow you to ocean

To the salty spray

But you burn me

And you bruise me

I am searching in this haze

I am searching far away

I wanted to be free

But now you've let me die

I wanted to be still

I wanted to be high

No not I

Not I

I wanted to be all right

And now that I am fine

I bleed and bleed and bleed

For wounds inflicted

Achieved again and again and again

And I am fine

Greetings to you

Greetings to you

The sun that is high

We followed the stars

Just to pass the time

I liked your socks

And you liked my hair

The yellow moon that followed us there

Hello to frogs when the storm comes

And keep me up at night

Hello to the crickets

And the insects of flight

You are the outside

And I am inside

I greatly appreciate the sound

Of our lives

Jungle gyms are urban jungles

Walking low because you are humble

Never fit the code for living

Never stopped the bold from slipping

How ever the day is spread out

I liked the way your eyes played

The light

The light

That was always present in your dreams

Greatness was a harder task

Than normal ever could be

We sat alone in the trees

Just to watch them passing

Thirteen was a general term

For luck and misadventures

I wore it around so I could see

The light suppressed by wonder

Good morning pleasing dawn

Your darkness does not touch the knowing

I cannot keep my stars from lying

They do it so well

I flew around the world today

I flew around my head

Soft and warm I stopped right here

And fell fast in my bed

I Danced

To feel is to hurt

To feel is to fly

To feel is to love

And to someday die

I found this peace in my mind

As I laid here

The warmth that found me there

The gentleness of not a care

I danced and reached

I said my goodbyes to the illness in my mind

I said my goodbyes to what was empty

I said my goodbyes to all of my fears

Hello

Hello

Hello

I was laying on the floor

Laying on what was clear

So clean and whole and fine

I felt the sleep

The hurt and the heat

The warmth in me

My wind to keep

My soul turns to greet

I sat in this

And my face disappeared

My body and mind

So in tuned with what was right

A whole and a half

I danced

All Right

I was so abused

In my mind

So hard on me

In my life

But it was a false thing

That kept me here

Protesting never seemed clear

I am a sparrow

I sing you a song

And in that it all disappears

Rivers keep moving

Shallow streams are clear

I wanted this for all of us

To just be mirror images

And now I see

Love was never focused

Never a meant to be

I see you

And all your faces

I see your clothes

And all your family

But that doesn't make you like me

Anything at all resembling me

We deal with things

So steadily

And rocky fields

Are following

Our following

I needed it to be so easy

So very present in everything

But it was wrong all wrong

New leaves are browning

New Buds ripen

And are eaten

I see your faces

And I cannot feel anything

But this confusion inside of me

So flowingly

I needed this to be so easy

But now I am fine

In its complexities

So fine with everything

Okay with life

And its subtleness

All right with what I was brought

Okay with the fine lines that weaved me here

Brother

I fell away in this

This wonder of god

Blessed be but still unrest

I have it now

And I can relax

I can feel this sparkle across my skin

I can feel the feathers of all my kin

You laugh and it makes me so happy

Just to stay a while listening

And you were beautiful

And you were okay

And you sat and played a song

Oh the way it sang

The cat by my shoulder

And the blankets on my bed

I see your smile

And I can't help but love the way it graces me here

I can't help but love the way you are here

And your eyes are so bright

And your face is so alight

Feather to kin

I love the way you laugh at them

I love the way you hear the world

And laugh and laugh

Poem

Words make a shape

And they tell a truth

That they don't make

The tone is there

Even if I said

I love and play and smile

I hate all and I hate the sunshine

You could see the reasons

The feeling

The masterpiece

Hidden by my thoughts

And my reasonings

Such is a poetry

Such is a feeling

You can see the way it shapes me

The way it might shape you

If you let it

Such is a poem

Such is the sky

I want this for you

And I want it for I

we wonder but never discover

Wake up to Sufjan Stevens

Fall asleep to the sound of my breathing

Why would you become a man that is hungry and freezing

I wanted to see your eyes

What color they would make in mine

But every time I tried

I was never one to hide

But when I do it's from what I need the most

Growing up is hard to measure

But when you do you come up short

I see the places that you sleep

And the places that you sit and stare

The places where you walk

And the places where you eat

What is the plane where we can both enter

And understand

Seven hills atop the sky

Are looking down and wonder why

The stars don't feel like they should shine

The stars don't like the sunshine

And though they are feeling fine

They will always wonder why

Junk is present in minds

And so is fear

But where does it stop

Do you see her

As she walks by

does she feel for you

Or do you wonder

And wait

When can you see

she wonders and waits too