close to you

got myself all tangled around myself

Wishing you were here

But not knowing how

Got myself all tangled around myself

Wanting to breathe

Wanting to see

Wanting to be anywhere

Close to you

god sees me

His wan face

When he tells me

Everyday

How he cannot escape

But what if there is truth

To what they say

God looks at me

God said let's go

I had no intentions

No feelings of begrudging

And he looked at me

Smiled please

And all I did was follow

God sees my face

Sees my grace

But he knows not my smile

For I had love in my heart

For the squirrel

And the cater mole

And the fish

And the bird

But I had discrepancies

That led me to barriers

It led me to frays

And my mind is locked up

From these rays

God sees my family

My life

And my quirks

God saw me as I

Was walking

And noticed

A sign post

But do I have a right to care?

GO!

Feels like something I can't control

Feels like something I don't know

Feels like something I can't let go

Go with the flow

Go Go Go

Got something for you

It's something you can't control

Got it at a place unknown

Don't want to let go

But I'll let it go

Go with the flow

Go Go Go

I had a smile in my back pocket

Lost it on the way

Lost it to acid rain

Pouring in the courtyard

You made so lovingly

The one with the plants

The one with the seeds

I left my love for you

All for you

In my mind

I won't let that go

But it's a gift for you

Let it go

Go with the flow

GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

youth

I'm losing interest

Losing the taste in my mouth

I don't see the world

I see it's faults

I don't see the colors

I see the raw chemistry

The formulas that don't mean a thing

The flaws in the programming

The false starts

And the echoing

Pulling skin

And flesh from my smile

The muscles in my mouth

That pull on strings

A wrong thing

A lie

I don't want to be this

I don't want to see this

Fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine fine

I'm just fucking fine

And I don't like your excuses

I hate your face

I hate your eyes

They're shallow

They're broken inside

I hate this place

And it's all mine

All fucking mine

Mine to change

A restricted youth

I want you to give me

Something to hold on to

But I want to be your equal

I want you to preach to me

Speak to me

Believe in me

I don't want to be the youth

I want to be beside you

Anger

I am tired

I am worn down

I am lonely

Look at you

What are you doing

Are you acting like a child

Because you are too far into

Your own delusions

When will you grow up

We never grow up

We just go back to being

Because this is the way we are

We are not illuminated

We are blood red

And defeated

We are childish

And stupid to reality

I am tired

I am weary

I am angry