Terrible

Let it be known that the places we sleep are growing on us

Till we weep and we follow it like sheep to the edge of reality

Let it be known that the places we keep are killing us now

Are making us weak

I was shaking from sorrow and I thought it would be kind

To let me just weep but the tears stayed in my eyes

I thought I knew the way to shape what I have

But I am still rising into the heat

I am still breathing in these noxious fumes

I am still feeling the sickly yellow growing inside of me

Like I have no say in anything

Because I was born to bear this place

And it has been killing me and growing on me

Let it be known that I can't feel anything but this

I can't believe in anything but this and the hope that someday I can make it disappear

I put on this wool and I wore it all around

But still I was cold and the chill was in my very bones

Still I was breathing in this cold this freeze

It was chilled to let me hurt in every way possible

It was cool just to taunt me and berate me for being so

If I could ask you if you feel lonely sometime would you turn from me

If I asked you just to stay with me would you be going sometimes

If I asked you to hear me would you do so willingly

This chill is killing me from the inside

I needed to believe someone loved me would I be so selfish as to believe I needed you

Do I love you or is that just my all encompassing need

I'm sorry so sorry so fucking sorry

I'm lonely so lonely so fucking lonely

I'm terrible I'm terrible I'm so fucking terrible

I'm angry I'm angry I'm so fucking angry

I'm weary I'm weary I'm so fucking weary

But I'm so grateful for everything

This earth has giving me

So why does it sometimes hurt so much

Why do I have to feel at all

Why must we fall and fall

I fall I fall I fucking fall

Always I fall