To Salty Spray

I couldn't tell if I was laughing or crying

But everything that was done to me

Was replayed over and over again

Your face is in my mind

And I don't even mind enough to care

Except to crave what I was after

I followed you into the ocean

I followed you to salty spray

I followed all your weaknesses

Only to find I was my own prey

You are an open sky

That touches flames at night time

I wanted your love too

But I was always frightened

By the complexities

And the far reach

I couldn't tell if I was dead or alive

I couldn't feel anything but feeling itself

To its highest degree

To its highest self

And To become so emotionless

To see and to breathe

And to not feel at all

That would make me bleed

And bleed and bleed and bleed

For a wound not inflicted

Never achieved

I would bleed and bleed

I love the way I smile

I love the way I dance

I love the way that I

Don't know how to be anything

But this

I loved my broken mind

I loved my dirty floor

And now I've cleaned them up

And I know exactly what for

I feel the open earth

As it was brought to me

I loved and loved you

But you would never see

I followed you to death

I followed you to salty spray

And with your last breath

You said

You said

You said

You said

Home

This is not where I belong

This was never where I was

This was never my last wish

To be withered into dust

I wanted to be free

And now you've let me die

I wanted to be still

I wanted to be high

And I always knew you

I always knew your face

And I always knew your message

And that message took your place

And you died

I fell

I decayed

I wanted so much

To let you know

Just to say

That I loved you

I always had

I would follow you to ocean

To the salty spray

But you burn me

And you bruise me

I am searching in this haze

I am searching far away

I wanted to be free

But now you've let me die

I wanted to be still

I wanted to be high

No not I

Not I

I wanted to be all right

And now that I am fine

I bleed and bleed and bleed

For wounds inflicted

Achieved again and again and again

And I am fine