fucked

It's all the same stuff

I see your eyes

I see you when your world turns around

You fall down hard

And cry

If I could do that

I would fly

I forgot when I could

And when I knew my world could change

I knew I was falling

I am just living

I am just a robot

Watch my eyes turn

I am not the slow bot

I calculate the stars

Like they are nothing

I have no feeling

I have no emotion

I see these beautiful things

I want to cry so bad

I want to fly

But the damn in my eyes

You can't see my soul

I am not

I am not

I am nothing

But the sun in the sky

Emotionless cruel

You feel my heat

You see me

And feel cold

The snow on this ground

It came from my hair

That weighed me down

But I was born to wear this

I was born to be so wrong

So cruel to the people

That don't see me

You just use the idea of me

So that you can't see me

The hazy dreams

My drug induced coma

And all I can do is think of you

And how the person you are in my head

Is not you

And I'm so wrong

I want you so bad

I want you so bad

But I can't feel anything

I want to hold your hand

I want to kiss your mouth

I want you to consume me

But I can't feel anything

I can't feel anything

I am so far ahead of myself

And I can't feel anything anymore

Look at me just spurting out nothing

It doesn't mean anything

It isn't art

I just want to hold you

Feel this warmth for you

This love for you

Become real

So fucking tired of living in my own mind

That's why this drugs so bad for me

I can think I'm so lyrical

But I'm so gone

I'm so nothing

I'm so drowned out

I can't feel anything

I'm washed out

The bleach they used to clean me

Killed me

My soul

What the fuck is a soul

I don't have a soul

And no fucking god

Can heal me

I can't take your religion

I can't take your lover

I can't take your bright eyes

And turn them into a bare shore

I can't make myself feel

I can't feel anything

I am nothing royal

Or deep

I am just living

I am just here to think

And I can't feel

Can't experience anything

My hands run across this keyboard

But my keyboard doesn't have eyes

I'm the only one

I'm the only one who gets my own prize

All alone

Well guess what

I'm fucking done

If you want to fuck with me

Give it all up

Here I am

I just want to feel

Feel one fucking thing

I love that word like I love drinking free refill soda

fuck fuck fuck fuck

Well guess what angels

Demons

I am just human

And what the fuck does that mean?

Am I stuck here like they say

Stuck here to roam around as spirit

Come back another day

I'm tired of this place

I just want to feel love

Just want to feel one thing

That isn't this frustrating disdain

This frustrating pain

They say those who are depressed just don't know what's real any more

I can't feel anymore

I don't even know what's real

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

I can't feel

And if I can't feel

I'm just dead inside