Drowning

All the things that I wanted to be

Never told me that I would just quit

And everything else that runs through the dark

Is conspiring to make me feel like shit

Maybe this time next year

I'll again have too much to drink

And end up with my hands smelling like vomit

And my face smelling like guilt

I am drowning

With or without you

And it doesn't make me feel nice

I am drowning

In a sea of my own faults

And I'm so tired of trying to be strong

All the things that I hate

Are running strait out of my pours

Into the night like a rat

Straight to the hearts of the people

That I have claimed to love

So listen clearly when I say to you

I don't want us to live this life

I am drowning

Don't think that you love me

Even if it feels like you do

I am drowning

I'll lose my mind

And end up without a direction

And don't think for one second

I have any clue what I'm saying to you

I'm afraid

And I'm lonely

I have no thing left to do

Than delve into my misgivings

And pretend I don't know how to feel

And maybe I'm trying

To feel like I know what to say

Maybe

I am drowning

And all that's left

Is to give my last breath away

I am drowning

I am recreating all the things

I've been meaning to say